Y’know people say shit about social media along the lines of ‘OMG no one cares what anyone had for breakfast’ and like.
I do? I care. I’m pretty sure a lot of people care. I want to hear that the people I care about are having delicious breakfasts or saw something odd at work or flirted with a cute barista. Or just any little thoughts they have that they feel are worth sharing.
I’ve always kind of assumed that’s how you’re supposed to feel about your friends.
Anatoli Bugorski might be the luckiest scientist of all time.
While poking around the machine, Bugorski stuck his head inside the accelerator and straight into the path of a proton beam.
As it coursed through his skull, the proton beam burned a hole through Bugorski’s brain. While it was painless, he said he was blinded by a flash “brighter than a thousand suns.”
After staggering away from the machine, the left side of his face swelled to enormous proportions. Later, the skin near the entry and exit wounds peeled away, and Bugorski lost hearing in his left ear. However, this Soviet survived his mind-blowing experience, perhaps because the proton beam was moving at nearly the speed of light.
Despite his good luck, Bugorski eventually lost every nerve in the left side of his face becoming partially paralyzed. The proton beam also damaged Bugorski’s mental capabilities, though not as badly as you might expect. Despite his handicap, Bugorski earned a PhD and is still alive today, proving that it takes a lot more than a proton beam to kill a Russian.
Just in case you were under the impression that being intelligent and being a moron were mutually exclusive…
High Int; low Wis.
Reblog if you say “fuck” more than 5 times a day.
By at least an order of 10.
I assume we’re counting derivatives, variations, and lengthy études on the word ‘fuck’.
A DAY? Hell, I get in five just turning the alarm off. Usually five more whilst brushing my teeth.
Sometimes in as many as five languages.
I need to learn more languages.
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
John Mulaney is fucking hysterical
“You live but once; you might as well be amusing.”
—Coco Chanel (via bibliophilebunny)